Turning Toward One Another

I absolutely loved the principle that Gottman (2015) shared of spouses turning toward one another. In one of his points, he talks about and discusses social media and the "digital world". It is so easy to reach out to connect with and talk to people who are far away and that we may not get to see very often. We can get so wrapped up in social media and what is happening outside our home, that we neglect what is inside our home. We can become checked out and not present to our family and those that are right beside us. For example, we can end up spending more time working on our relationships online that we can neglect our kids who wanting and needing our time and attention. 

As I read this chapter, I personally felt like it spoke to me about mine and my husband's marriage. My husband and I both have a really bad habit of turning toward and spending more time with our phones or computer than each other. My husband will get home from work, tired, and will spend the rest of the day playing games on his computer. I spend all day doing homework, cleaning up the apartment, and taking care of the baby. Even well after he gets home. When I finally do have free time, which is usually after the baby goes to bed, I immediately hop on my phone and I'm on it until I go to bed. My husband and I don't leave very much room for each other. And I've noticed that we tend to not be very good about noticing each other's bids in an attempt to have some time to do what we want. I think that being better and really making a more concerted effort will really help our marriage. I think that this principle is very beneficial for any couple who feels that they aren't getting the time or attention from their significant other that they are needing or seeking. I challenge you to make that attempt and try to turn toward your spouse or children more than to your phone.