Emotional Infidelity

I really liked the story that Matheson (2009) shared in his talk. He gave the story about Jane who had gotten especially close to a male coworker. Her family and friends expressed their concern with how close they had gotten and how much time they had been spending together. Jane continued to defend herself saying that she was doing nothing wrong. She was looking in the aspect that she had never been intimate with the coworker. Then one day, her sister asked her a series of questions in the which, when Jane answered, showed her that she was turning to her coworker far more than she was to her husband. She had been pulling away from her husband and her marriage. After this conversation with her sister, she cut it off with her coworker. She stopped meeting him for lunch and talking to him online. She then started telling her husband everything that she had originally been telling her coworker. Her husband had been hurt by her emotional infidelity and it took time for them to rebuild their trust and their relationship. He then went on to talk about the importance of giving our spouse EVERYTHING. ALL of our heart and mind. 

This can be very difficult as we may connect with other people in some ways better than others. I know for me, this was almost an issue. I had a crush on my husband and another guy at the same time. In fact, they had actually both been companions on the mission. We all served in the same mission. My husband was still on his mission while the other guy and I were up here at BYUI for school. Since we were close by, we hung out a lot and developed an emotional bond. However, my feelings for my now husband, were stronger. The other guy knew my feelings and even tried to propose and get me to marry him before my husband got home. I said no. Though I was emotionally connected, I also knew that he was too toxic for me. My husband came home and we started dating. I would only text the other guy as long as it was in a group chat with my husband. While my husband and I were dating and even right after we got married, I found myself wanting to talk to the other guy since we understood me in a way that I felt like my husband didn't. Part of me was tempted to hide it from him. However, I turned to and told my husband instead and we would have a good conversation. My husband eventually asked me to permanently cut off contact with the other guy and even blocked his number on my phone. I happily did it for my marriage and it has really helped strengthen my marriage since the other guy isn't around to put a rift in it. It was hard to lose a good friend, but so rewarding in the end. It is SO important that we really do give our spouse EVERYTHING that we have to offer and to not split it.