I really learned a lot in Gottman's (2015) book about the love map. It really is so important that we are continually working on our love map of our spouse. Our love map is everything about our spouse. Their likes, dislikes, goals, ambitions, etc. Gottman poses really great questions for us to ask our spouse. Such as asking about important parts of their past, and what is going on in their present. Their likes and dislikes. As well as open ended questions about how they feel with different aspects of the future. This really helps you to continue to get to know your spouse. Not everything about your spouse stays the same. A lot of it changes over time, so it's important that you keep up with those changes so that you can better help meet your spouses needs. Especially during big changes in family dynamics such as having children or even moving. This was very evident in my own marriage. My husband and I have had a happy marriage and we would go on dates regularly. Then our son came. The first couple of months was really hard. I was trying not to, as Gottman (2015) said, leave my husband behind. I struggled to figure out how to balance taking care of my son and husband and fulfilling both of their needs. My husband and I also almost never go on dates. So our marriage really struggled for a little bit until we got talked it out and relearned each other and our needs. I was also able to finally find the balance between the two men in my life so that everyone was happy. But making sure that my husband and I really knew each other, really helped.
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