Divorce

Divorce is really hard for couples to go through but it's so much harder for the children of the family. Just like Elder Oaks (2007) had said in his talk, divorce is a very selfish concept. Granted that there are very legitimate reasons for divorce, mainly the various forms of abuse. However, that is the extent of what makes divorce ok. Other than that, the parents are mainly thinking about themselves and how they benefit from it and don't even ask the kids how they feel about it or think about how the kids are blaming themselves. 

There is a lot of eternal conflict that children go through when their parents get divorced. This was also greatly discussed in the Divorce School For Kids by ABC video. Children feel torn as they don't want to favor a parent, yet parents use their kids against each other. Some children are so hurt by the divorce that they don't want any half-siblings because they are afraid of being replaced. The fact that parents think that they are benefiting their children by divorcing are only fooling themselves. They are hurting, and in some sense of the word, destroying their kids. Children want their parents to stay together and in Elder Oaks (2007) words, "they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each other’s needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desires for temporal things." (para 20) 

I had two aunts go through divorce. One went through divorce about five times. Her daughter refuses to marry now because of the example that she has seen from her mom. She actually had a very difficult childhood growing up as she didn't get along with any of her step-dad's and they belittled her. My cousin had to turn to my grandparents and they became the parents that she needed because her mom put her relationships before my cousin and wasn't there for her at all. My other aunt has only divorced once, and that is because her ex-husband asked her for one because he was having an affair and wanted to be with the other woman. My cousins didn't blame themselves, but it still tore them apart to see their parents divorcing. It was really hard for them to no longer have both parents with each other and to not have their dad come home. Parents need to do their best to make things work, figure things out, so that their children don't get hurt.